Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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