you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
