i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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