we have pet lesbian snakes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
