Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
