This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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