babies were throwing up all over the place
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Come on in and take your pants off
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