So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I just sharted jello shots
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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