I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
dude. I can hear the air.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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