didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
