Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
