Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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