so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
