i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
