she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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