No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
