Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
