Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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