I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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