HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
