"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
