My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
