He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
