just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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