Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
