Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
