Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
