last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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