oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
