I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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