He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
