I need help removing her.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
