You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
