We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
