Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
