You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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