apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
