God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
