We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
