That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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