Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
