Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
