you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize