Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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