I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Porn is love you can see.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
