I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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