Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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