Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
