Michael Bay diarrhea
worst night to have a conscience
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I didn't notice because vodka
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
