is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
